What Not to Do with a Chainsaw

Eddie, the night of November 3rd, after returning from the emergency room after a chainsaw accident.

It was Tuesday, November 3rd and I left work at 3:30 p.m. to head to Hoover to vote.  I was on Highway 280, about to get on to I-459 when I got a text from my husband, Eddie.  It was 3:43 p.m.

Eddie:  Where are you?

Me:  About to get on I-459 to go vote

Eddie:  Ok, where is the First aid kit. 

Me: (thinking to myself) Uh-oh……

Eddie:  I cut myself with a chainsaw at the ankle

Me:  I don’t know if it’s in the hallway closet.  Good Lord…how bad is it?

Just a little side note here…the hallway closet is where I store my collection of Designs by Lolita wine glasses.  I mean, they are all over that closet and all I could see was Eddie opening up that closet door and riffling through for the first aid kit and breaking various glasses in the process!  I know that’s not exactly the thought a loving wife should have at a moment like that but I know my husband, and I know he can be a bull in a china shop!  Later he told me he opened that door, looked in and said to himself, “no way.”  You have to find the humor in situations like this and we both had a laugh talking about this later. 

Eddie:  I need to go to the medical center but I got to get it wrapped first.

Me:  Just grab a towel if you can.  Do I need to come home?  You can probably get to the medical center before I get there.  There’s a lot of traffic on 459 right now and I’m about to stop.

Me:  If Steve home?  Can he take you?  (Steve is our across the street neighbor.)

Eddie:  I can go.

Me:  OK, keep me posted please…and you are no longer allowed to use a chainsaw unless I am there.

Meanwhile, I was finally moving in traffic and was close to the John Hawkins Road exit thinking I could get to Eddie but he texted that he found a large bandage and got the bleeding under control.  He also said he could drive himself to the emergency center near our house.  So, I headed to the Finley Center to vote thinking I would be there for a bit.  You know…record turnout voting this year and I had already heard there were lines hours long in the morning.  Much to my surprise, I was in and out and in my car in exactly 11 minutes.  Eddie had made it to the emergency room by this time so now I was just waiting to hear from him. 

The scene of the accident and that’s the tree limb that got this whole adventure started.

When I got home, I immediately surveyed the scene of the accident.  Eddie had been trimming back large tree limbs between our house and our neighbors house.  The chainsaw was down the hill from where the tree limb was cut.  There was blood on a number of brown leaves on the ground.  There was a bit of trail to the basement and on the way up the stairs to the kitchen.  But bless him, I could see that he tried his best to clean up any blood that he trailed into the house so our puppy wouldn’t get into it.  I opened the garbage can to find he had thrown the pants he was wearing away.  I was able to see the enormous rip where the chainsaw hit.  That’s when I poured myself a rather large glass of wine, in a Lolita wine glass, and began the long wait to hear from Eddie.  At about 4:54 I was anxious so I texted him and we had this exchange:

Me:  How are things going?

Eddie:  Getting ready to sew it up.

Me.  How bad is it?

Eddie:  Good gash

Me:  How many stiches

Eddie:  Don’t know yet.  They are cleaning and numbing it right now. 

Me:  Well I saw where it happened.  Followed the trail of red. (insert OMG emoji here)

That’s when he sent me the photo of the gnarly gash inside his left ankle.  Don’t worry…I’m not going to show you the photo but trust me, it looked like something out of The Walking Dead show and I told him that.  It took 9 stiches to get it closed.  He then sent me the photo of the stiches. 

Eddie:  Going to be a cool scar.

Me:  You’re nuts.  Am I going to need to drive you to your CT Scan tomorrow?  (This was an already scheduled appointment unrelated to the chainsaw accident.)

Eddie:  Don’t think so.

Then, at 6 p.m. he sent the last photo.  In it, his leg was wrapped in a splint up to his knee.

Eddie:  I’m on crutches.  There is a slight fracture on my ankle.  I have to see an orthopedist.

Me:  Oh geez.  What the heck.

Eddie:  You may need to take me tomorrow.

Me:  Well, that leg is ready for Christmas.

Eddie:  Looks like I’m going to be binge watching Netflix.

Me:  Better than wielding a chain saw.

Thank goodness for pain meds and my ability to work from home that week.  I was needed to keep him from trying to do too much on his ankle.  He was told to stay put and keep it elevated but I know he was mad at himself for letting this happen and he also didn’t want to inconvenience me too much since things were rather hectic that week. 

Today is has been 10 days since his accident and he’s moving around a lot better.  Two days after the incident he went back to the medical center to see the orthopedist and he was told he did not have a fractured ankle after all.  That was great news!  He was given a boot to wear which was better than crutches.  Those things hurt!  And he did wear the boot this past Tuesday when we went out to dinner.  I told him it was the safest way to go because God forbid if someone bumped into him or stepped on his foot!  Stiches come out on Monday and I know Eddie will be eager to show off his scar.  Meanwhile, we are both so grateful this accident only required 9 stiches. 

The pants Eddie was wearing when the chainsaw hit his left ankle.

5 thoughts on “What Not to Do with a Chainsaw

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